First week of work “prego”

So it is the first week in my life to live knowing that I am pregnant. I think I am about 4 – 5 weeks which means that the little zygote has just completed it’s 6-day journey through the fallopian tube.

Last week at this time I was getting ready to have Margaritas. Life has changed so dramatically and now I just keep playing Landslide by Stevie Nicks. I am afraid of change. I want to embrace it and will but for now my hormones have me trapped.

I found out Monday 3/17 St. Patrick’s day. I feel like I was a kid until now. Even with a mortgage and engaged to the best man ever I was still a kid until 3/17. Not anymore. I am officially going to be a MOM.

Sorry I sound like a pessimist but my heart breaks as I type and I think about how I got to this point my life and all the ways (good and bad) my parents helped to mold me. My dad is gone and I all I ever hoped is that he would straighten himself out so he could be here for this day. Then Josh (my love) … his mom died in 2004.

I know that Josh and I will make it but the 2 people that should be here aren’t and I MISS them so much. Life is changing and I hope that I can take the love these people put into me and give it right back x 10 to my child and all who I meet. Because of my child I know that will be a better person.

But this week… My mind is like a landslide. If you want to swim for a second into my soul visit my myspace page to listen.

– Daddy and Kat in Heaven – I will miss you so much but this is for you. My life is for you. I will do my best to make sure this child knows you and all your stories. You created me because you loved and now you live on through me. One day we will all meet. I believe that.

Okay – I am done but I promise to keep my blog up more now that my life will never be dull.

Image courtesy of Laureneto